February 1, 2021
I spent at least 1 hour last night watching my Hyrah and Skynnah on many, many videograms. They do a dance and song routine like a broadway musical all with the same theme love you and miss you daddy. so cute and precious. It brings tears to my eyes every time I watch them. It is an emotional roller coaster. I see so much of their mother in them in every mannerism, little movement, action and even their voices.
After that I watched a movie that was a broadway stage play by Leonard Nimoy about the life of Vincent Van Gogh. What a masterpiece of acting and giving tribute to the Dutch Master. Good for a deep discussion on mental illness or just someone who is genius but artistic. You probably know how he is most remembered even more so than his art work unfortunately. For cutting off his own ear. He definitely struggles with some major issues. He mainly was not understood or appreciated by anyone except his loving and devoted brother. Who in the play is played by the talented and genius in his own right as an actor, Leonard Nimoy. I don't think I have seen an actor be as dedicated to his work and have a gift of memory and craft of his trade like that.
Doc
* * *
February 2, 2021
I just finished watching Vincent. Yes, that was brilliant. And, yes, it certainly shows how the world punishes genius.
Jennifer
* * *
February 3, 2021
I'm trying to get on the kiosk to save a little tablet battery and charge a 10% boost while plugged in and on the kiosk for 15 minutes.
My roommate is on my nerves lately. He went 8 days sober and after 4 days of irritability he was actually tolerable. Now he is back off the wagon, as we say, and totally obnoxious. I just hope he doesn't start stealing again. I could tell you stories but I will leave that to the memory banks. I hope I am able to forgive and forget.
I have a conference with my lawyer tomorrow so keep me in your prayers. The last time I had a conference call with my lawyer and my dad was when they made me the offer of $2,000,000 and adjudication withheld without prejudice and I refused 2 years ago. They probably have a new offer on the table.
Doc
* * *
February 3, 2021
I shall amuse you with the trivial while we wait to see what happens with the meeting with your lawyer. Pudding, our outdoor cat, was wrestling with something. It was bigger than a mouse. “A rabbit?” I said, with horror. We used to have a lot of them and every now and then I see one hop along the driveway. Believe me, I’m rooting for the bunnies! C was watching from the bedroom window and K was putting on her boots to go investigate. K doesn’t mind blood and gore. She doesn’t balk like I do when the cats leave their little conquests, half-eaten, on the stoop as if to show off for us what mighty, brave hunters they are.
Turned out that Pudding was wrestling with a piece of pizza! We have no idea where she found it. It was a whole piece of pizza and we haven’t had pizza like that in ages. I was out later with J putting out the garbage and recycling and the neighbour was outside and I was too embarrassed to ask him if he was missing a piece of pizza.
Jennifer
* * *
February 4, 2021
I lost a letter from earlier and I can't remember what is was about because I have been so stressed over my conference with my lawyer. He started out with the bad news/good news routine. He started off by saying that he has never seen such a blatant case of corruption and a cover up in the legal system as has happened with my case. The Unites States Supreme Court has denied my direct appeal on the grounds of a blatant Brady violation of newly discovered evidence that adds to the evidence that proves my innocence. The State of Florida never did, nor ever will, provide evidence of my guilt. He said he was really discouraged and in over 25 years of being an appellant lawyer he has never seen a case as corrupt and blatant that his client is innocent. He explained now is the best time to expose all of that and to bring in all of the evidence of their corruption and fraud as newly discovered evidence.
I asked if the offer was off the table today and then they put me on hold and discussed God only knows what and got back and said that they would give me 2 weeks and I could in private only with representatives go over all the details and I could NOT get copies so it would be my word against theirs if they violated it in any way. Well they lied in my case and framed me with every corrupt avenue possible. I do not know if they realize I don't trust them, the media, the prison administration.
They had the whole compound on lockdown while this was going on to try and prevent anyone having access to me and they were hoping I would sign and prevent me from exposing what they did to put me here.
Doc
* * *
February 5, 2021
I know you’re stressed. Do whatever God is telling you to do and then be at peace that this is HIS battle. Just, “go with God” as F says to anyone around here who heads out for a walk. And don’t be discouraged. God’s picked the battle for you…
Jennifer
* * *
February 5, 2021
You are so encouraging…
As my lawyer said, they just want this case to go away and avoid repercussions. He hopes I won't be in jail 15 years down the road and they are still holding an innocent man in jail. He said the governor would not have been involved if he is not worried about his own career and the repercussions politically and legally with my case when they finally have to admit I am innocent and that they violated my rights and engaged in illegal activity to get a wrongful conviction.
It’s an emotional roller coaster.. I am so tired and can only take so much.
I am seriously thinking about going pro se (self-representation) with my 3850 which can only include going after newly discovered evidence that was not presented at trial and or was not given to me or my lawyers prior to trial, and we did not have the availability to study/review or defend properly. The second avenue is ineffective counsel or incompetence by my legal team…
Doc
* * *
February 6, 2021
Just the police report, alone, shows you couldn’t have done it. According to the police report, the EMS Captain Terry Evans who oversaw the medical attention that was being done by the poolside “noticed the victim’s fingertips in his opinion did not look as they had been in water too long.” This report was filed on June 19, 2014. And they’d had Mr. Christiansen’s testimony since February. So they shouldn’t have been looking at you as a possible suspect at that point.
And also, there’s no way that Mr. Christiansen got the day wrong because it could be confirmed by a neighbour they encountered at 10:22 on 22 Feb 2014, Tripp Frazee, who they stopped and talked to as he was heading out of the neighbourhood. It was after that they took the route that would take them past your home.
Anyway, I’m almost done going through this police report because they seem to have made a mistake and made double copies of some interviews while leaving other interviews out. So it seems incomplete to me.
The interview with the Gardners—father and son—is very revealing. Their stories are identical. There’s no way that’s possible. My kids and I often argue over details but these two don’t vary at all in their stories. They rang the doorbell three times. They both say that. If you asked the average 14 year-old how many times the doorbell was rung, his answer would be, “I dunno.” Not a mirror image of what his father said in a separate interview. But there’s one glaring difference in their stories and this seems significant to me because this is the one part of the story that there’s no way a person could get this wrong. Jr. says his dad first noticed Samira in the pool. Gardner says Jr. first noticed Samira in the pool. That is proof positive to me that they collaborated their stories but forgot that one vital detail. And it’s not the sort of thing a person would get mixed up about. If my kid noticed something like that before I did, that would be seared into my mind.
Obviously, the state hopes you will give up and that this will all just go away for them. That would be very convenient for them with their busy and corrupt lives.
OK, so my plans for the evening? It’s 6:50. K and J went for a walk but when they get back we’re going to watch Doctor Who and have some cheese popcorn. There are lots of leftovers if anyone wants a proper meal…
Oh, they’re back. They bought some butter tarts! How nice of them! Now I’m glad I didn’t have anything to eat while they were out. A butter tart and popcorn for dinner. Please don’t judge me. Lol
Jennifer
* * *
February 7, 2021
I’ll do whatever I can to fight this legally. The gloves are off. Not that my hand or knee is in any state for any actual physical combat. Lol So it’s a good thing we’re not using swords.
I’ll tell you about my medical visit yesterday and my run in with the Chief of Security and the most foul mouthed, repugnant guard I have ever encountered. She is always treating inmates with aggression and the most vulgar and repulsive language and voice I have ever heard.
Ok before I left the prison I had to be cleared for leaving the compound by this infamous person mentioned above and she asked me my name, dob, dc# and what county I committed my crime. I told her I did not commit a crime and was innocent. She used every f bomb and degrading smart _ss comment you can think of and even said something like because I think I'm special and famous that she should just put me in the box. I told her if I had to lie and say I committed a crime then she would just have to put me in the box then. She said something smart to the other transport officer and said bring him back to me when he gets back from medical and I have something for his smart ass and I ought to spray him right now, just say another word. I almost wanted to say God bless you mam. But she probably would have sprayed me and I would have gone to the box without being able to see the doctor.
The heavier temporary splint they put me in is very uncomfortable and today my hand is killing me, but the good news is the cortisone shot he gave me in my knee makes me feel like a new man and I can walk without a limp for the first time in over 2 months.
The Doctor/Orthopedic surgeon could not put me in a solid cast or give me an adjustable brace but he took X rays of my hand, wrist and right knee. He revealed that early on surgery would have been warranted to put all the pieces of the commonuted fracture back together with a plate and screws. But now that it is 2 months from the original injury the bones have started healing and are mildly out of place and I have a lot of swelling and capsulitis around the metacarpal carpal joints and the lateral left wrist. I pointed out a avulstion fracture of my wrist at the distal end of the ulnar head and he said, yes, that I was very observant but that is almost healed and unless he took B/L views X rays of my left wrist he would have thought it was a normal anomaly.
With that said, he asked, "what are you, a doctor or something?" I told him and he acknowledged that I would probably know the hand and wrist anatomy better than him because the foot and ankle are very similar to the hand and wrist in anatomical make up and surgical intervention very similar. He was a very nice and competent, young doctor that looked like he was just out of Residency training.
Oh, he took the X rays and gave me the bad news of my right knee. I told him I had multiple surgeries and injuries and 26 orthopedic surgeries and that did not include being shot and stabbed. He wandered what kind of doctor I was, thinking front line combat military or something.. I told him just a wild and active life with lots of injuries and some crazy situations. He kind of shook his head and I said “that's what keeps us doctors, especially surgeons, busy.” I nodded and agreed…
Doc
* * *
February 7, 2021
I looked up whose playing in the Super Bowl and where it’s happening. Kansas City Chiefs and Tampa Bay Buccaneers. And actually being played in Tampa, I see. So is that who you’d be betting on? Why is Kansas City in Missouri and not Kansas? I looked up Kansas City to see how close it is to Nebraska and was quite surprised to find out that it’s not actually in Kansas. OK, I totally know you had nothing to do with naming the cities of America. Canada probably has some weird anomalies like that, too.
No Super Bowl for me, I’ll be watching Greenland with J. When I told him the plot —comet heading for earth, breaking into pieces upon entry into atmosphere, one enormous piece going to cause extinction-level event and Gerard Butler has to get his family to Greenland in time to get to the underground bunker built by the Americans for nuclear war—J said, “oh THAT genre.” Lol
Jennifer
* * *
February 8, 2021
… I’m sorry to hear that you’ll have to have knee replacement surgery. Especially because that means it’s painful in the meantime. It’s a good thing it’s not on your bucket list to climb Everest. Lol
I’m browsing online for new recipes. What do I have to work with? Lentils and noodles. Necessity being the mother of invention, I’ve gotten a lot of good recipes over the years because I’ve been limited to certain things. In this case, I think I have a winner: an Indian recipe for a curry that has spices that I have, at a blog where the author/cook raves about the aroma of curry and garam masala. I’m glad I’m not only one with a near erotic attraction to Indian spices. Lol This person is also just as passionate as I am about red lentils (at the top of the list) followed by chickpeas. Wow, she’s like my soulmate.
Jennifer
* * *
February 10, 2021
… J and I watched World War Z again last night. As I was saying a few days ago, all part of the “man saves his family from world-destroying event” genre. This time it was Brad Pitt saving the world from zombies. We watched one of the special features and they talked about how despite that it’s about zombies, they tried to make it realistic in terms of how viruses spread and how insects and other swarming creatures behave. Of course, I watch the whole thing, groaning and going, “how’s he going to make it?” Or “I can’t watch” while I cover my eyes. And J is shaking his head and going, “Yeah, because you totally don’t know how it ends.” And then I say, “Actually, I have forgotten how it ends.” Lol Half-timers. It makes watching the same movies over and over again fun.
Jennifer
* * *
February 10, 2021
… I have two options tonight, NBA basketball with one of my favorite teams, the Dallas Mavericks and their best player Doncic. And then the other TV is on busted with narcotics cop show where they catch people smuggling drugs in US airports.
Doc
* * *
February 11, 2021
It’s been a crazy day here. First, F’s computer crashed. S actually fixed it, but he accidentally wiped a hard drive and now a lot of information has been lost. Then F had a tough time reactivating all his accounts. Thank God all that got sorted out.
I spent some time working on the blog.
Then I had to get up to go look around for Marmalade. I let him into the house to eat but these days, he’s spraying everywhere to let the ladies know he’s available to help them make some kittens for the spring. All our female cats are spayed so they look at him like, “you want to do WHAT?” They make the poor guy wait until they’ve finished eating before they let him at the food bowls. So I let him stay inside quite awhile until I know he’s had a meal. But by then he could have sprayed half the house. But thankfully I just found him curled up on on a chair looking like he might get some sleep. He was probably roaming all night.
* * *
February 12, 2021
I found yet another documentary about you online today. That’s up to 5 now. I’ve never known anyone personally whose had five documentaries made about them. This one was part of a series called In Ice Cold Blood and the episode about your case was Illicit Affairs. I couldn’t watch the whole thing because only season 1 is on y-t-b and Illicit Affairs in in season 2. There were two excerpts. One is with Annabelle Dias talking about how they all went out to celebrate Samira’s life a few days after the sentencing and how she knew that Samira is up there rejoicing that there’s been justice, at last. I wish Samira would haunt them all until true justice actually does happen.
The second thing had cappleman and newlin, once again, parroting their story for this obviously sleazy series that deals only in cases of particular depravity. I think they’re actually starting to believe their own lies and their own myth that they’ve created about this case.
There’s a brief scene where Gardner shows up at the house with a shovel in his hand ready to do an honest day’s work. fcol
Jennifer
* * *
February 13, 2021
It’s late Saturday night and we were let back out of our cages for a little while because these guards can count past 50 and got master roster count cleared early.
Before this covid pandemic with all its necessary, and some absurd restrictions, we used to stay out until 10:30 PM on week nights and til midnight or 1 AM on weekends and we did not have near as many lockdowns and counts. The 6 months on complete 24/7 lockdown was a living nightmare with my eyes open.
Doc
* * *
February 14, 2021
It’s Sunday morning and I was surprised to have a letter come through from you on the weekend. You have inmates around you at the kiosk. Me, I have my fat cat, Butter, who parks herself in front of my screen and at one point there, I couldn’t even see what I was typing. Then she sat on my mouse. No matter how many times I pick her up and put her back down, she jumps up again. It’s because the outdoor cats are inside eating and she likes to have that higher vantage point to keep an eye on them all. Cats love being superior, don’t they?
J and I finally got around to watching our double feature of Green Zone (Matt Damon) and Robin Hood (Russell Crowe) last night. They both came out in 2010 and that’s when our family saw them at the drive-in. Our one and only trip to the drive-in. I was saying to J, “ooohhh, I think I missed about 30 minutes of this when I hiked all the way back to the bathroom.” Lol I barely remembered both of them because of that trip to the loo during Green Zone and I was half-asleep by the time Robin Hood came on. J was 6 at the time, so he remembers even less.
Jennifer
* * *
February 14, 2021
I am hoping to talk to my girls today. Hyrah was copping a little attitude when I talked to her about sticking out her violin lessons. But she said she doesn’t like it and is no good at it. I asked her what instrument she likes and she mentioned some wind instrument and it was so noisy in the pod I could not hear what she was saying, but it sounded like a flute, but smaller and is curved at the end???
I told her about my attempt at the saxophone, so I could not hold her at too much of stern ‘give it the old Gipper try’ because I did not even get to the first note on my saxophone attempts. A musician I am not and orchestra protege I was not.
Unfortunately she may take after me and not her mother when it comes to those talents. She can cop a tude like her mother. The last time I was with the 2 of them, Skynnah was 2 and Hyrah almost 5 when I was out on bond. It had been almost 2 years since I had seen either of them. I had the GPS monitor and all the time in the world to get back in their lives because we were together 24/7. Then, when the 6 weeks were up and they had to go back to Nebraska, it broke all of our hearts to be separated again.
I get so angry at everyone involved in this evil ploy when i think about all of this hurt and sorrow.
Doc
* * *
February 15, 2021
I looked it up. There is something called a curved head flute.
Here’s a joke Hyrah might like:
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste.
And here’s a very Canadian one:
Why did the M&M go to school? Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!
Smarties are one of our favourite candies, a lot like M&M’s but they’re more colourful.
I’ve reached that point where it’s halfway through winter and I can’t wait for Spring and warm weather and bare legs and spring dresses. It must be Spring Fever hitting me early because I feel like sifting and sorting through some of the clothes I’ve packed away and seeing what’s there.
I love the way you’re hitting them hard with the summons response.
[This was Doc’s response to the civil lawsuit filed on behalf of Samira’s mother in Madagascar by her Tallahassee lawyer, James Waczewski.]
The two pages you sent me just came in and it’s good reading. I’ll grab myself a tea and really read it over carefully.
Waczewski thinks your interrogation makes you look guilty. I’m listening to it again. In fact, it’s the opposite. If they had paid more attention to what you had said that day, they would have had the whole story and been done with it within months, not years. Gardner would be in prison and there would have been no need to create a myth about you as some kind of a domestic abusing husband.
You mention in that interrogation that Samira was in bipolar mode on Friday but the detectives just ignore that and ask what time did you get back to Tallahassee. They really don’t care about the big picture.
Jennifer
* * *
February 15, 2021
I am back on the kiosk after a long day of being locked down, and then the kiosk was acting up after they replaced the keyboard with a new one and a new micro USB cord for syncing. The kiosk was buffering and not letting me have access this morning so I could not retrieve or send you a letter.
I actually prefer the kiosk now to the new tablet for letters. When I make a mistake I can see the keys. Before, the old keyboard got so much use that most of the key’s letters and numbers were worn off. I don’t like to make mistakes because my hand hurts too bad to hit the delete key and correct.
Not that this is my first rodeo when it comes to broken bones. I developed a lot of talents and knowledge along the way and I don’t just have a bucket list of things I want to do and achieve, I have a freight train of buckets full of lists to achieve. Samira shared that with me. Unfortunately, with her being on the bipolar spectrum she would go from normal/happy to violent rage and say some crazy things like she was going to kill me. She threw that phrase around so much I just kind of blew it off.
Doc
* * *
February 16, 2021
I noticed how Samira threw that word “kill” around. I picked it up from watching things—that she used that word a lot. I think people misunderstood that about her, that she said it all the time. Unfortunately, once she’s passed on, it’s all taken literally as if she feared for her life. It really shouldn’t have been a 4-day trial. It should have been a 4-week trial to bring all these things out. Of course, there shouldn’t have been a trial at all since you had an unshakeable alibi, but if the prosecution wanted to make those insane domestic abuse allegations, she should have been facing a tsunami of witnesses—including the videos from Samira’s phone where she says you’re trying to kill her when you’re clearly not, the Joel Silver video where she says she’s going to kill you for letting Hyrah eat Chapstick, and the video where she says, “I love you, guys” when she’s supposedly, according to cappleman, being abused.
I’m reading Man’s Search for Meaning and that must have been a hard thing to live with at Auschwitz, the inhumanity of it all. The cool indifference. I know that anything that dehumanizes us is of the enemy. Truly, it is the devil’s own who go around treating people as less than human because that’s how he feels. And you found with people like cappleman and newlin that they stripped you of your dignity and dehumanized you.
Jennifer
* * *
February 16, 2021
I wrote you a long letter today and I forgot to choose who to send it to and by the time I got back to the continue tab and then the confirm and send tab, I was logged out. It never saves the letter being typed into the cache anymore, so that’s why you get a lot of short letters.
So now I am trying to get caught up on what I wrote you earlier in the letter that got whacked into computer La La Land, nothing like the wonderful movie. Lol
I have my hand wrapped with a double ace bandage today because I hurt it yesterday when I was putting on my knee brace and went to pull on this tight neoprene knee brace and it was like I rebroke my hand. I’m still waiting for the brace that the orthopedic Dr. Bennett ordered for me. That may never come or I will have to pay $5 for a medical visit to get the brace. Yes, the charge us $5 for every time we need to see medical.
They even charge us if we need refills on our meds. We have to make a medical call out request and then they only work on one illness or one medication at each call out so with all my medication, it is going to cost me $30 in medical call out requests. Fcol This is no big deal but for the inmates who are dependent on families that are poor, that adds up and is difficult.
Isn’t it amazing that none of those TV shows about my case hit on my side of the story or Clyde Taylor’s closing arguments and how the true and only evidence in the case proves my innocence, the only true and viable witnesses, the Christiansens, vouch for my alibi, and that Samira was alive while I was in Panama City Beach at the bank with the girls doing normal transactions and errands I would do on any weekend that we stayed around the beach house. Even when traveling I would take the girls and let Samira sleep in or have a Momma’s day off in a hotel or resort. I loved giving her a break and I loved spending bonding and play time with the girls. I was an action kind of dad, involved with having fun playing or coaching my kids, and being involved in the extracurricular activities with school. Or with the younger ones, taking them to the park or the library.
Doc
* * *
February 17, 2021
OK, now for the mundane details of my day: heavy snowfall, boxed macaroni and cheese with the kids for lunch, cleaned the house a bit this morning but still have to put away laundry. S always complains about how we have too much stuff in this place and I’m tempted to say, “OK, then you move out with all your stuff and that should give the kids and I the room we need.”
One thing I want to do in the near future is watch the trial all over. Today is Ash Wednesday. Watching the trial again could be my Lenten penance. lol
I find it rather alarming, but Man’s Search for Meaning is relatable. A book set in Auschwitz. Fcol Our privations are not as severe, but they are enough that the kids and I sometimes talk about what we will eat “someday.” I know you have the same thing there with prison rations. I try not to talk about food. Although, these days, I don’t think you’d be jealous of ramen noodles with some green peas like we sometimes have.
And I can understand why frailer people who had an inner spiritual and aesthetic life could survive because I feel that’s what’s kept me going through the Auschwitz periods of my life. I played so many mental games to escape awful moments, so many prayers. You know, I never prayed, “God deliver me.” Isn’t that weird? It was more, “God be with me.” And that one got answered. And music becomes so important, like a portal to a better place. And I can relate to those moments of beauty when one is physically miserable but still has the eyes to see something wonderful.
After the separation with S, my future was so uncertain that I just absorbed the moments in their entirety. Even now, I don’t know where grocery money is going to come from, but I love each meal. I only think about the next meal, not how we’re going to eat for the rest of our lives.
I DO find meaning in suffering. But at a far more profound level, I find meaning in happiness because I believe we were created to love people and above all, be loved by a God who is Love Itself. And believe me, I say this as someone who is NOT particularly living the dream at the moment! But I still believe the purpose of my life is to love and be loved and find my happiness in that. I haven’t finished Man’s Search for Meaning. Maybe he ends up saying the same thing.
Jennifer
* * *
February 21, 2021
It is lunch time and I am letting my tray get cold while I type this letter because the kiosk has been hard to get on this morning, and no one wants to get on right before count or meals being served because it cuts your time short.
I plan to fast and pray starting tonight for at least 24 hours and then see how I feel after that on this anniversary of the worst day of my life.
I always reflect a lot on those precious last hours I had with her and our precious daughters.
Doc
* * *
February 23, 2021
I survived 22 hours of fasting and just got back from the rec yard, but I did not walk the track because I felt a little light-headed and hypoglycaemic on the way out to the rec yard. It was a beautiful day, 80 degrees F and a nice, cool 3 to 5 MPH breeze.
I checked my mail and was glad to have a letter from you and not from one of those people who JPay me after watching a slanderous drama-hungry documentary. The people don’t even say, “they said” or “allegations that you did this.” They just assume that everything they say is true and they are bold and say things like, “you were committing insurance fraud.” And that you cheated on your wife and had this child out of wedlock with your mistress, Martha Moore. Samira was upset when she found out that I had had a child with someone else before we got married. But it was years earlier and people write me saying she found out about the child and then you got into an argument with her and then you killed her.
[Doc proved he was innocent of Medicare fraud and the case was dropped by the Feds. Martha was never Doc’s mistress. The relationship with Martha was over when Doc and Samira married. Samira knew about Trista. Doc often took Hyrah and Skynnah over to Martha’s to play with their sister, Trista.]
It is so hard to respond to these hard-hearted individuals. I wonder if my jury had the same mentality of, guilty and not even until proven innocent. I don’t have the time or the energy to respond to these emails so I just refer them to the blog site now.
Doc
* * *
February 24, 2021
… that must be draining to wade through all those letters. I must say, those documentaries are terrible. If people are writing to you and they think you’re guilty then they must be strange people, indeed, because they make you out to be the ultimate bad person. So I guess that’s who people want to be writing to.
Jennifer
* * *
February 24, 2021
I don’t have my spling on myy hand and wrist and it’s ppainful so I wikl be making a lot of mistakes. My hand and wrist are so thin and week fealing. Tereible garmattical errors Im making a lot of mistakes…
Doc
* * *
February 25, 2021
Good morning, I hope you are having a warm day in Canada in February. Lol In Texas, home state of your alma mater, it is freezing with snow and power outages everywhere. Isn’t that crazy. You guys in Canada have switched with Texas for the winter. Climate change at its craziest.
I think I will have to take my time and type slow and let my weak hand catch up to my dominant strong hand which is now my non-dominant left hand. fcol
I just ate lunch, the nastiest chili you ever tasted with a little side of boiled raw corn, a small piece of corn bread, a small salad about the size to fill 1/2 a teacup, and a decent portion of half-boiled white rice.
Enough calories for a small grade schooler. I am thankful to God every day for the small things. I really hate junk food and canteen food that I could load up on like I did in the Fed’s and gained 50 to 70 lbs of unhealthy fat/weight. There are a lot of leftover vegetables and salad on these little gradeschooler trays so with dumpster diving, as we call it, I get plenty of, almost too much, good food and you can still get fat on too much healthy food. Td lol
The pod has been somewhat slow and boring today, although my cellmate had a tooth pulled and a sore tooth does not make for a happy inmate. All they gave him was a 300 mg tablet of Motrin. So he will use self-medication to ease the pain and be high the rest of the day/night.
TV is consumed with the Tiger Woods car accident.
Doc
* * *
February 26, 2021
300 mg of Motrin?! That’s horrible! I could feel a headache coming on tonight and I took 400 mg! It’s the kind that’s good for 8 or 12 hours, I forget which. Doesn’t matter because I’ll go to bed soon and it will be 12 hours by the time I take another one.
Jennifer
* * *
February 27, 2021
I woke up this morning feeling so under the weather, all stuffed up, almost flu-like. I hope it isn’t covid. I started to feel run down last night and even though I didn’t go to bed any earlier than usual, when I did, I was so lightheaded and I was having trouble swallowing. My breathing is still OK and there’s no tightening in my chest, or anything.
So who knows, I’ll just have to wait and see. I almost feel like just going back to bed but then it will start to ache just lying down and I’ll end up tossing and turning from side to side. It’s almost more comfortable to just rest sitting up. I feel chilled, too. Not that the house is warm but I’m a mix of flushed and chilled. A bit of headache and upset stomach, too.
Hands feel a bit numb, too. But that could just be me getting a bit panicky that I could have covid. Because that means the kids will all have it and it will take us months to recover. Oh well. Que sera, que sera.
I’m going to go make a coffee to do something about this headache.
OK, I’m back, kettle’s on. Plus, I made some bread dough. I don’t want my family starving if I
end up sleeping for most of the day. Not that I probably would. The crazy thing about being a mom is that you reach the point where you can hardly be bothered being sick there’s so much going on that needs some kind of attention. And being sick in this tiny house is never a private matter. I remember when I was a little girl and I had my own room and not feeling well meant falling asleep in a quiet room with the door shut with my mother occasionally popping her head in to see if I wanted her to bring me a ginger ale. That’s my childhood in a nutshell. My own room and Canada Dry ginger ale being the cure all for everything.
Jennifer
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February 27, 2021
I just read that you are not feeling well and may have the flu. I will be praying for and hope you don’t have covid 19. Like I said, I had it last February and I was so sick that I thought I might die.
Doc
* * *
February 27, 2021
Took a Motrin. Still feeling 100% crappy. Managed to get outside for some fresh air. Went for a walk with F but then he got upset because I hadn’t noticed a car as I was crossing the road and he gave me a talk about it not doing anybody any good if I got run over. I said I was so out of it, I hadn’t noticed and it’s probably best if I just go home and stay home until I feel better.
No reason, at this point, to think it’s covid because it’s not the usual symptoms. But it might be the more unusual ones.
I’m so out of it right now that I just looked in the fridge and called out to F that the rest of the tea is for the milk. Lol He has loads of juice to drink thanks to a recent run to Walmart but I am getting low on milk.
Thank God my computer is right by a comfortable chair because then I can still do a few things. My head was swimming earlier this morning and I threw up before I went on that walk. I’m feeling a little more stable at the moment. Just sipping tea and trying to hold it together. I don’t want to be sick again. I have no appetite at the moment, either. Plus, I’m hot and cold at the same time.
S thinks I have covid. But he thinks everything is covid. I just feel really tired at the moment. And my throat has gone all dry and sore. It could be anything. There are things other than covid. OK, granted, as I go back and read over what I wrote, that really DOES sound like I have covid, but I checked online and they only want people getting medical help if they have serious symptoms. Otherwise, we’re just supposed to stay at home. So I may have to do that for awhile. I’m going to rest. More later…
I just woke up from a rest and I feel quite a bit better so maybe this is just a false alarm when it comes to covid.
I’m going to get up and have some supper (soup) because I actually am hungry now.
Jennifer
* * *
February 28, 2021
Still don’t know if I have covid. I’m going to self-isolate for two weeks. I feel rundown today but not any worse. Took some Motrin, had a coffee and that cleared my head a bit.
Jennifer
* * *
February 28, 2021
I hope this letter finds you well and that you aren’t still feeling under the weather. I’m praying that you are OK and feeling better today and that God puts his divine healing hands on you. I have only gotten one short letter from you this weekend. I hope it isn’t because you are feeling bad…
I hope I don’t have to wait until Monday to hear how you are doing, it’s usually at around 9:00 AM when I get a bunch of letters.
Doc
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